b"H
G-d created a pardoxical world. In each and every moment, we exist a paradoxical existence. At one and the same time, we are sentient beings with free choice, and also marionettes controlled by the Puppetier, Hashem, orchestrating His Divine Story.
In other words, each moment, we are subjected to the responsibility of having 100% free choice while under the influence of 100% Divine Providence. As with all true paradoxes, it is impossible and illogical for these two states of being to coexist. Since the Creation is paradoxical, experiencing paradox enables us to deepen our faith in and relationship with Hashem.
How can we experience paradox? Human thought is unifocal. This means we can focus on only one idea at a time. Therefore, it is impossible to experience paradox as a thought. We can think of the concept of paradox, but cannot directly experience paradox through our thoughts. The experience of paradox is available to us, though, through our hearts.
The heart is a funny organ. It is the organ of paradox. It has a physical function, pumping blood and an esoteric function as the seat of emotion. Our hearts can feel two opposite emotions simultaneously. It is possible to feel joy and emotional pain at the same time. In fact, the reason that the most intense experience of joy engenders tears is that the deep opening of the heart to joy also opens deep feelings of pain. This joy/pain relationship comes from the paradoxical experience that at one and the same time we are infinitely close to Hashem and infinitely distant from Him. It can be difficult to experience such a paradox. The reason for this lies in the way the mind/body operates.
In order to feel to the depths of our hearts, we must feel safe. As soon as we feel unsafe, the nervous system decreases inner awareness and increases external, survival awareness. This makes sense in that, in a situation of danger, awareness of our inner state is unimportant compared with the need to focus all our resources on survival. Thus we are less in touch with our emotions when we feel threatened.
There are three basic causes for feeling unsafe: 1-actual danger, 2-too much stress from physical, emotional and/or chemical sources (also known as too much information) and 3-having a belief system that doesn’t match one’s experience. We remain in a defense state for up to 20 minutes after the cessation of danger or perception of danger, depending on the intensity of the experience.
How can we feel more safe? Dealing with the first two reasons for feeling unsafe, keeping away from dangerous situations and lessening the stimuli in our environments are obvious solutions. What about the third reason? Let’s investigate what it means to have a belief system that doesn’t match one’s experience.
Western culture teaches a belief system that it is wrong or dangerous to feel discomfort. That is the raison d’etre for the multibillion-dollar pharmaceutical/medical industry and for almost all therapies, conventional or alternative. We become indoctrinated in that belief system from our earliest experiences. If our parents were afraid when we had fevers as children, we learn to feel the same fear. When we see hundreds of commercials about headache medication, we will automatically judge a headache as wrong. Influenced by a society that views discomfort as wrong, as soon as we feel discomfort, in a back corner of our consciousness, we will perceive that discomfort as threatening. Even most people who meditate and know how to achieve relaxation have been unconsciously conditioned by society to feel threatened by discomfort. This is true for emotional discomfort as well.
At every moment, the heart is full of a range of emotions, from the most comfortable and pleasurable of feelings to the deepest uncomfortable, painful ones. If we have an unconscious message that uncomfortable or painful feelings are wrong or dangerous, then we will resist feeling the pain that lies deep within us and be unable to experience paradox. Furthermore, as alluded to above, we cannot experience the heights of joy unless we can experience the depths of our pain. What we need is a belief system--a story--which explains painful experiences in a way which gives us permission to feel them without feeling threatened by them. The Torah offers such a story. Please G-d, we will discuss the details of that story in our next article.